Through my healing work, I connected with a very important channeled message you can see below. I wasn’t even sure why I, of all people, was called to share these words with you, but all I know is that I am. You see, I am the perfect example of someone who was an overachiever, but who deep down lacked confidence. Through years of introspective work and healing, I can now translate this lack of confidence as a misunderstanding about my inherent self worth.
From all accounts, as a child, I was carefree and basically a joyful little girl, but something happened to me when I was about four. This event wasn't anything that most people would consider horrific or tragic, but nonetheless, it left a lasting imprint on my being.
I have memories of a moment in time, a dance recital. I wasn’t following the rules, and I was reprimanded in the middle of the show by a very cranky dance teacher. Perhaps this sounds silly or inconsequential, but at that moment, I actually had my “confidence” stolen away from me, or at least, I believed that it was “stolen”. I’ve traced the root cause of this false belief, this “samskara”, this indelible imprint that was marked deep within my energy system, back to that time when I was publically “shamed” for being brilliant, for being different, for taking a chance, and for dancing to the beat of my very own drum. I really was just a little girl that wanted to dance, to show the world how amazing I truly was, to share my joy. But on that day, I was “squashed like a bug” and sent to the back of the line. I honestly believe, from the result of that incident, something changed in me.
I have always been a very “sensitive” person. People’s words and actions deeply affected me, so, from that moment, I held onto that false belief and as the years went on, I buried it deep within me. In fact, I did all that I could to protect it and keep it from being bumped, or worse, re-exposed. And from this false belief, I convinced myself that I was somehow “less than”. So, at some point in my youth, I devised a plan to show the world that it wasn’t actually true...I would show them that I was worthy. In order to do that, I believed I would have to work harder than most and prove to everyone else that I was something really special! In a strange way, I actually think I achieved that, at least on the surface. I was always courageous and forward thinking. I was empathetic, exciting, funny, smart, but deep down, I did not truly believe that I was “good enough”. I never “really” fit in. I don’t even think I ever really experienced true love until my husband. Instead, I consistently looked outside of myself to prove that I really was good enough.
However, what I didn’t realize back then was that I was missing a key piece of information. I didn’t understand the Law of Attraction. I didn’t realize that I was vibrating at the level of self loathing and lack, and that, regardless of how hard I worked, I would not truly move from that vibration until I learned how to shift it.
This false belief about my unworthiness manifested itself in many ways in my life. I ended up in bad relationships with men who never wanted to commit or treated me in a way that someone who was “not worthy” would be treated. I over ate and abused my body for years, eventually suffering from an eating disorder. I looked for confidence and approval in everything and everyone outside myself, including my relationships, my education and my profession. I basically pretended to the world that I had it all together, all the while hating myself on the inside. Everything I did and accomplished never truly fulfilled me. I pushed myself to do more and learn more, but whatever I did, once I “mastered it”, I lost interest in it, or I convinced myself that I actually wasn't good enough at it to make anything of it. I was always moving from one opportunity to the next...a different plan of study, a different job, a different hobby...thinking that I would find what I was “looking for” if I just kept going.
So, the good things that came from the courage and my tenacity is that I am now an extremely well rounded person. I have strengths in many areas, all of which have and will continue to positively contribute to my life. However, what I didn’t understand was that I was constantly attracting people and situations into my life that would “challenge” that false belief that I held about myself. When I say challenge, I mean CHALLENGE.
I had NO idea that I was actually attracting these challenging situations into my life.
Fast forward to now. For the first time in my life, I actually feel whole and fulfilled when I share the gift of unconditional love and energy healing with others. I found my place, and when I am in this place, I feel confidence and joy. Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle some days with confidence, and believe me, the Universe continues to present me with “opportunities” to revisit this. Remnants of this false belief still rise to the surface for me. I still run into situations when other people's "stuff" and other people's "hurts" get unleashed around me. I understand why this happens now. I know it happens so I can look at what it is bringing up in me, send it love, and release it. And despite all of this, I do believe, through the deep, compassionate, unconditional love I’ve been blessed to channel and attract into my life, I have finally released the root of this wound.
This leads me back to where I started. Why should I be the one to share this message about confidence? Well, because I’ve lived it. I finally understand that It is only through the “eyes of unconditional love” that I was able to recognize and uncover, under countless layers, the root cause of this false belief within me. It was only through this unconditional loving energy that I was able to release and transmute this wound, so that I would be rid of this false belief forever more.
I do understand that habits are hard to break, and I do understand that my “alter ego” will rear its head from time to time to try to bring me back to that place of unworthiness, which was once my comfort zone. Nevertheless, I finally understand that the confidence I endlessly searched for and believed that I allowed someone to take from me all those years ago, was actually always here with me…It never left me.
God, the Universe, they never left me either. I just took a very long detour to that place of “false belief land”, and I promise you, I have no intention of ever going back….at least not for more than a moment or two.
The bottom line is, my confidence was never anyone's to take.
Here is the beautiful message channeled to me by my Spirit Team:
This is a message to all mothers, fathers, coaches, relatives, and family members.
As human beings, yes, we all came here to experience something. However, we are all entering a new time in our Universe. We do not need to learn any more lessons about “confidence” being stripped away from our children, especially girls. We don't need another generation of women who ‘lose their voices’ as children, and finally start to find it again in their mid life. We don't. It tears families apart, because, when a woman does eventually find her voice and begins to truly understand her ‘majesty’, she begins to crawl out of her skin. She begins understanding that the life she created for herself based on false beliefs simply no longer ‘fits’ her True Self.
This then often times results in an incident of the "Tower", this deep realization catapults her forward as the confidence returns...all the false beliefs that she has created must be shed, and in doing so, often times families fall apart, marriages are thrown away, and children are displaced...all the while impacting the child's belief and deep feeling of safety, security, and confidence.
This is an “epidemic” as it has been labeled by so many, and it is not necessary. We can change everything. We can reverse this “epidemic” in this generation, and it is so easy to do this.
We simply teach our sons and daughters at a very early age about confidence. Teach them that no matter what they say or how they behave that they are intrinsically beautiful, whole, and good human beings...created in the image of God. They are a drop of the Sun from the whole, a body full of source from the great Universe, and they are divinely perfect in every way.
Simply remind them that not every choice or behavior they make is healthy, or helpful, or even appropriate, but it is the behavior, not their beautiful soul that is wrong or incorrect.
Don't ever let them attract the belief to themselves that there is anything intrinsically wrong with them, and let them be who they came here to be. If they want to ‘dance like nobody's watching’, let them. If they want to read instead of being a hockey star, let them. If they don't quite fit in, help them find a place where they do, but always, always fill them with the unconditional love that we as parents agreed to offer our children. Words are like energetic swords...cutting children down, putting them “in their place”. And please remember, when we react poorly to something that our children do, this reaction indicates that something within us has been activated; a wound or hurt deep inside us. It's not our child's fault that they activated this. They simply are affording us an opportunity to look deep within ourselves and make peace with whatever wound was “hit”.
So know this...Instilling confidence in your children, not allowing them to go to a place of not “being good enough”, of being “bad”, “incapable” or that in some way they are “deficient”, will help shift our entire vibration on this planet. If we all become aware of this, we can absolutely shift an entire a generation of children, and then their children, and so on. Instill confidence, not fear or control, and watch our world turn around and flourish.